But one reason that disciplined, occasionally harsh project management is so important in successful game production is so the product doesn't look obsolete by the time it comes out. The saga of the new game's interminable development is far too long to recount. And so the profanity-spewing, woman-objectifying, bodily function-mocking, alien-smashing character of the Duke was clever and subversive. It was a time when the 1980s concept of the meathead action hero, à la Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger, still had cultural relevance. And that's because, after all this time, that's what "Duke Nukem Forever" still resembles: an unfinished project, rather than what it should have been - the pathbreaking sequel to one of the most beloved games of all time, 1996's "Duke Nukem 3D."īack then, the idea of a first-person shooter on a console was beyond the pale and "Duke Nukem 3D" was a revelation. As I trudged along, my hope gave way to despair and no small bit of bewildered resentment toward the endless cast that participated in this pathetic wreck of a project. Now let us show you what we've really come up with." And then the game would start over with state-of-the-art graphics, finely honed pacing, exciting foes, witty writing - in short, everything that is utterly absent. I kept hoping the game would eventually say: "Ha ha, we know this was what you were expecting back in 1997. The rest of the time was a chore and a bore.įor the first hour or so, I honestly thought the whole thing was a big in-joke - that the curtain would finally part and the real game would begin. Only two spots - a battle against a hulking alien atop the Hoover Dam and a fighting sequence in which normally inconsequential enemies loom terrifyingly large - were enjoyably engaging. Over the dozen or so hours of the main campaign, I had fun for about 20 minutes. Just bad, as in unpleasant to play and watch. There is no easy way to put this: "Duke Nukem Forever" is shockingly, embarrassingly bad. After 14 tortured years in development, after being endlessly revised and restarted by four studios, "Duke Nukem Forever" finally opens with a first-person view of a men's urinal being put to its intended purpose. The first thing you do in "Duke Nukem Forever" is relieve yourself.
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